Yes, I survived November 2, and even though it lingered in my mind, I did my best to keep my mind busy. It'll always be there, the anniversary of my assault, but I also see it as the major turning point in my life. I changed. Obviously, I got older, grayer, and I think, even smarter. I do suffer emotionally and physically. My mental health has suffered, and the years when I was focused on my children, I put my pain aside. No matter what my body threw at me, I focused on my boys, and did my best to take care of them. I suffered in silence. Then a few years ago, I had to take care of my father. He had open heart surgery (he's doing well no w), but I was his driver, I took care of him when he needed it, and he even called me his "memory" when I took him to the doctors, since I wrote everything down, and went with him to each doctor. After the surgery, his memory got from bad to worse, so I still took care of him and his needs. When he was in rehab, I took care of handling his bills and rent, and filling out all the paperwork, and doing all his insurance claims and extensions.
Eventually, he didn't need me as much, and it was soon after that, that I was getting new symptoms, and not for the good. So, I figured, I had to set the suffering aside while I took care of others, and now that it's me I have to look after, whatever was hiding in the shadows of my mind, took over, and little by little, I became who I am now.
I woke up yesterday, glad to be awake. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope it goes the way I need it to go. Anyway, I'm still here.
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