I used to look at myself as a domestic violence survivor, but now I feel that it's more than that. I suffer from a lot of disorders, so much that my brain is one big dysfunction. But, things that it hasn't taken from me is my voice (though, sometimes when I'm tired or in pain, I stutter), and my creativity. I'm a writer, a storyteller, and though I can't write as much as I want, sometimes, I write one line, or even one word at a time. I don't see myself as an artist, and when I sketch or draw, it's very abstract, and probably not even really good, but it helps me show my feelings or non-feelings.
I hope that my story will help others, even those who have similar disorders, and not necessarily all of the ones I have or will have in the future. Symptoms or disorder, disease, or emotional and mental health, nothing to be ashamed of. If you have any of these, you are not alone.
Yes, I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Depression. Anxiety. Sleeplessness. Tremor disorder. Leg and body movement disorder. I forget things. I get confused sometimes. I was told that my brain may give me issues that mimic other disorders like Parkinson's (which it does in a way now), and even dementia. It's probably progressive, since it's been increasing slowly over the past 16 years. I also have chronic DAILY migraines, and the worst ones make my scalp hurt, or my eyes hurt. I have ocular migraines in my Left eye, causing blurry vision, and even pain, whether the eye is open or shut. I also see black "floaters" and shadows that sometimes are like a fog, and other times look like spiders or worms.
This is me, in a nutshell. I am so much more than my disorders, and when I talk about them, it feels like I'm complaining. I am but not for the disorder, but how they affect my life, my world, and my sons, who have to help me more than they should. If you want to connect, please feel free, and use the contact form on the home page of this blog.
If you connect with me, and want to share your story, I'd be happy to post it on my blog for you.
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