Tomorrow is the day. The court date for my SSD appeal, and the nerves are getting the best of me. I'm anxious, and trying to think positive. That's not helping very much. I felt positive when I applied this last time. My conditions are multiplying, and I was still denied, but then, I realized they didn't get all the important records, the ones of the doctors telling me what was wrong with me, and why I am the way I am. My brain has a functional disorder which means it's not functioning correctly, so both physical and mental issues, which doesn't make me feel any comfort.
I have come to terms with what can and will happen, but I don't have to like it. It bothers me. Sometimes i feel so many things, I don't know what I feel. I feel numb. At least I know why my hands hurt now. it took a few years to find that out. I know why I shake, fall, and jerk, and can't ever get a good night's sleep.
I even invested in a Galaxy smart watch, so if I fall, or need help, I can immediate call or text one of my boys for help, but still, there's not much worse than having my boys pick me up off the floor. I fell again today. I still walk and veer to the left, and fall to the right. This time, my cane got stuck on the run and I fell forward on my knees.
I just needed to get this out. i'm sure no one reads it, but at least I can get it out of my head for a while.
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